What Called Me to Reiki & Why I Stayed

My first experience with Reiki wasn’t a groundbreaking, transformational experience that changed my life forever. It wasn’t a subpar or insignificant one either but it also wasn’t love at first sight. 

I had seen a Reiki Healing Circle on the schedule at my local yoga studio and I had vaguely heard about Reiki as a healing modality for mind and body balance. I had searched Google in a few instances but the introductions I read seemed esoteric. The modality seemed like it was for people who needed to relax. I, however, needed “real, physical” healing as I was experiencing weight loss, fatigue, back pain, hair loss, urinary tract infections, eczema, hot flashes, palpitations and countless other symptoms. 

Reiki was on my back burner of modalities and treatments to try. It seemed like a gentle practice that may or may not work. My schedule was already overwhelmed with appointments with my integrative health practitioner, naturopathic doctor, nutritionist, and countless specialists. I was also managing multiple treatment plans, and receiving vitamin drips, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, and physical therapy. 

While in the full swing of doing more to heal physically, there wasn’t a part of me who recognized that I needed help in coping with chronic illness. In just my early 20s, I had received multiple diagnoses, been in two car accidents, and had left college to tend to my health. However I often suppressed my mental and emotional needs and told myself, “Once I heal physically, I will be happy.”

When I saw that a Reiki Healing Circle was offered at my local studio, and that too for an affordable $20, I decided to go experience the energy that I had only read about until then. As I entered the studio, feelings of safety already started to wash over me. I had been comfortable practicing yoga in this space and always felt held by the warm smiles, aromas of incense, and the melodies of the harmonium. 

I got comfortable on my mat, lying down on my back with my knees propped up with a bolster. A young Reiki Master Teacher led the circle by explaining Reiki as she knew it. She mentioned that the energy was intuitive, and Reiki was universal however those concepts were elusive for my mind. “How could an energy know what was in need of healing within me and also magically heal it? How could the energy within all of us be the same?” I wondered. 

She let us know that all we had to do was follow her meditation and come back to our breath. So I laid down with curiosity of what I may experience. There wasn’t a tiny part of me who I thought I would one day learn Reiki, incorporate it into my every day, and teach it to others. I was merely hoping for some relief. 

The reiki master began her meditation and guided us into a deeply relaxed state. I could gather from hearing her foot steps that she was visiting one recipient at a time. I had no idea if I’d experience a profound emotional release, a tangible shift in energy, relief from symptoms or anything at all. I noticed my mind wander from time to time and then came back to my breath. 

When the reiki master walked over to me, she sat on the floor next to my head and placed her two hands near my temples. I felt her cold skin but quickly felt a warmth radiating from her palms. It was the kind of warmth that you would sense from a radiator. Not only had I never felt energy pouring in from someone’s hands, I had also never heard of this possibility while growing up in New York.

 For a few minutes as I received reiki, my mind toggled between “I hope this is my miracle healing” to “Don’t have expectations. Just observe and let it be what it is.” I felt the energy pulse through my crown and noticed a tingling sensation at the back of my head. I had no idea what that meant. Was I receiving or releasing energy? Was it a sign of physical, mental or emotional healing? How long will this healing last? I had countless questions but all I knew for certain was that Reiki was real. There was a tangible experience of Reiki that I experienced in less than 5 minutes, that I couldn’t deny. 

When the circle ended, the pace of my mind and my steps were naturally slower and more at ease. There wasn’t a rush to pack up and experience the next part of my day. I felt lighter in a very subtle way. My logical, type A personality questioned whether I was truly feeling at peace due to Reiki or whether it was the placebo effect. 

When I left the yoga studio that evening, I didn’t have a cathartic release of emotion, or a psychic experience that shifted the trajectory of my life. I didn’t fall in love with Reiki or feel the slightest call to become a Reiki Master Teacher. There was just a bit of curiosity, and interest. It was just enough, however, for me to seek out more Reiki circles in my community. It was enough for me to pick up a book, listen to a podcast, and try a private session. 

That first experience of Reiki lit a gentle flame of curiosity and interest within me. Usui Reiki, just as many other disciplines, is a practice that needs to be tended to, like the flame of a candle. It doesn’t promise a miracle or a quick fix but rather we’re called to show up day after day, and moment after moment to live into the practice. The gifts of the practice are sometimes felt immediately but more often, as an accumulation over a steady period of practice. 

One practice after the next, I would show up to regulate my nervous system. Although I didn’t know how to fully surrender to universal healing intelligence, I leaned into the idea of it. I began to witness the thoughts and emotions that I previously suppressed. As I continued to receive Reiki, completed my Reiki 1 Training and began self-healing, I opened up to a new way of being. I recognized the power I have in shifting my experience, and perception of reality, when I couldn’t alter reality. 

Now that it’s been a decade since that initial experience of Reiki, I can appreciate the system of Usui Reiki for giving me the tools with which I can witness the dark and light within. The practice is not about outsourcing our intuition, or waiting for something outside of us to fix us, but rather it’s about seeing ourselves as healing, healthy and whole all at the same time. It’s a pathway to remember the light within. 

If you have been recently introduced to Reiki, or have been in connection to it for some time, I invite you to consider – What initially called you to the practice? What were you expecting and how is that similar to and different from what you experience now?

I welcome your reflection in the comments below! Thank you for taking the time to read mine.